Being a good parent is harder now than it has ever been before. In pressurised modern lives, demands to be a fulfilled individual, and a good partner and a good worker, take no account of being a good parent. We havent left space for the nurturing parents expect to provide and children need. As a result, many parents in the western world just dont work. Something will have to change. With luck, people in the future will only have children if they really want them. And that should mean that parenthood is seen as a much more positive commitment than it is now, and that parents are socially supported, and admired for doing a good job. The problem is that in the last generation or so weve come to assume that women should be able, and should want, to do everything that by tradition men have done at the same time as pretty well as everything that by tradition women have done. And its just not possible. Indeed since adopting a male agenda in life is arguably only another form. of submission (男尊女卑), quite a number of highly educated and economically privileged women are now choosing to take career breaks so as to be at home with their children for longer than that insulting 18 weeks. The most welcome trend in parenting is that men are participating more and more. Even that is not free of conflict, though. Intellectually, women want men to be equal parents and do their share. But theres often a contradictory emotional sub-text because children are the last bastion (堡垒) of distaff power (女性的权利) in the family. 'I want him to help me but this is my territory and being better at it is one of the few things Ive got as a female. ' Having children—especially the first child—puts a bigger strain on a couples relationship than anything else they ever do. So a future of smaller families and more people choosing not to have children at all could well leave couples closer than they are today; for many, the purpose of being together would be solely to pleasure and support each other—an interesting prospect. Many parents in the West just dont work because______.